Connor: Blog Of The Day

The Journey of the Comedians

By Connor 

     The two comedians walked up toward the stage.  One of the comedians acted like a ventriloquist while the other acted like a puppet.  The  routine ended with the comedian acting like a puppet saying "I'm not trying to be funny."   Then he pulled a nose-like prop in front of his real nose. 
     After the performance the comedians signed autographs and headed toward their homes.  The one who played a ventriloquist said to the short comedian, "James, I kind of want to try a new routine next time.  I am sick of playing the ventriloquist." 
     James responded "How do you think I feel about acting like a puppet?  Besides, it was your idea to do that routine in the first place." 
     The taller of the two, George, said he was sorry he ever came up with the idea and entered his house.
     The next day the comedians had to entertain the math teacher at a local school.  James said "Hey,   George."  
     George replied "Yes, James?" 
     James then said, "Would you care for a slice of Pi?" 
     The math teacher simply said "Pi is an irrational number and as such can't be split evenly.  Pie is pronounced the same way, but is spelled differently." 
     James and George looked at each other, dumbfounded by the fact that this teacher had no sense of humor.  James replied "It would appear that you don't like our jokes.  Maybe George and I could attempt to make you laugh."
     The math teacher said "Alright, if you can make me laugh you'll each get five dollars added to your payment for today.  You have five hours to make me laugh, if you can't you don't get the extra cash."
     Oliver, the math teacher, along with George and James wandered around the town.  At one point in this walk George pulled a feather out of his pocket and tried to tickle Oliver.  Oliver said "That will not work.  I am not ticklish at all."  Jake also attempted to make Oliver laugh by hitting George's toe with a bat.  Oliver said "I am not a child and as such mindless cartoon-like violence does not appeal to me.  Although I must question your IQ level based on the fact that you just imitated a cartoon."
     James grinned and said "I am very smart FYI.  As for George, he is also intelligent."  The three kept on walking and upon each stop they would try to make Oliver laugh.
     When the walk stopped it was nearing noon.  James had slipped some pepper into George's lunch and when he ate it he sneezed.  Oliver was not impressed.  He said "I have seen six year-old children do that to each other.  You will have to be more creative than that, I assure you."  James grabbed some paint and drew a tunnel on what seemed to be a wall.  He ran into it head first and ran across the street.  George tried to follow Jake, but upon hitting the paint he hit the wall.  Oliver looked over and said "Old style trick.  Make something that looks like a wall and paint a tunnel on it.  Chances are you'll take the right "Painting" and the fellow chasing you won't." 
     James and George looked at each other and James said "This isn't going to be a piece of cake is it?"           
     George responded "Sorry, it is more like potato salad.  Oh wait, we were talking about making him laugh right?" 
     James said "Yes, we were and still are so forget the potato salad joke." 
     George said "Yeah. I agree it will be tough, but we need that extra five bucks."
     Oliver said "Nice try with the potato salad joke, but try again." 
     James walked over and said "Oliver would you please show us how you laugh?" 
     Oliver replied "No.  I can't without you to making me laugh."  After a while of trying to trick Oliver into laughing James stopped. 
      "Okay man have it your way."  James turned to George and said "Hey, George?"
     George said "Yes, James," in an exasperated tone. 
      "How would you like some punch?" 
     George said "I would love some." 
     James punched George in the face.  "There, Oliver hope you got the punch line."  George stood up and looked over at Oliver.  Oliver was laughing so hard he couldn't stop.  James said "Oh good we finally can have the cash!" 
     Oliver stood up and said "No you can't.  You must wait for nightfall." 
     James said "That ain't fair.  If we wait for nightfall we will not get the money." 
     Oliver said "Fine you got me.  I can't stand losing the bet."  Oliver then reluctantly handed over fifteen bucks. 
     Jamee said "Finally we have enough money for new props and costumes.  We don't have to do the ventriloquist joke we always use!"