Friday, July 13, 2012

Connor: Blog of the Week #3

The  Case of the Banana Gun
By Connor M. Jones

       My name is Albert, a monkey at the local zoo.  I was born and raised to understand sign language in the zoo.  I got my start as a detective soon after I turned four years old.  The case was the smoking banana, or banana gun.  If you had told me before the case started that a banana could be deadly, I would have laughed at you.  Now it seemed my favorite food had become a weapon.  The zoo was located in London, not far from the scene of the Jack The Ripper murders hundreds of years ago.  I looked for my stuffed animal, a toy the zoo keepers named Watson.  Watson was a reward for solving the mystery of the missing animals which I solved earlier.
     I got to the scene of the crime in a few moments.  It didn't take long considering that the crime scene was in the zoo itself.  I saw a corpse of a Galapagos Tortoise, the murder weapon was lying a mere walking distance from the body.  It was a gun, but it seemed more like one the user would have to hold in its mouth.  After all I was the only animal in the zoo to have thumbs and hands.  I looked around at the different animals with large canines and mouths.  I talked to the dingo first and added him to my list of suspects.
      Almost no one had an alibi, and when they did it was a hard one to believe.  I went into researching the gun some more.  For it might have been able to tell me something about the culprit.  Unfortunately the gun helped none.  Thus I had to go under cover into the zoo's bar, for "adult animals"  in order to get the truth.  I heard the leaders of three gangs.  Leon, the head of the lion gang,  Baskerville, leader of the canines gang, and Alucard, leader of the flying mammal gang.  Alucard was a bat, a vampire bat to be more precise.  Baskerville was a black furred wolf named for a Sherlock Holmes story.  Baskerville and Alucard were the best known criminals in the zoo.  Alucard was rich, making money by selling blood donated by the weaklings of the zoo.  Although he could not stand cold blood or a waste of blood.  Baskerville on the other hand was known for selling furs and shells and even teeth on the black market.  A dog whose very path was coated in blood, he lived up to his namesake by murdering the folks he hated and selling their fur and teeth.
        It wasn't either of them though.  After I left my spying plan I returned to my cage where he was waiting for me.  He wasn't anyone who was in the bar to begin with.  It was my archenemy Ludwig  the Puma.  Ludwig hated my guts only because I was the only monkey who stood up to him.  I said to him "Well Ludwig.  I'll admit I didn't suspect you at first.  Although I will admit when I put it together it made since."  He smiled a grin of triumph, like a cat catching a mouse. I knew that he was a freelance criminal, he peddled objects to and from different gangs to make a profit.  He was wearing his usual monocle and still grinning stupidly.  I grabbed the tire swing and threw it in his face.  He fell to the ground hurt, but not damaged too badly.
    As I placed him in handcuffs he was only able to say "Round and round the merry go round the monkey chased the weasel."  I guess he thought he could weasel his way out of this one.  I turned him over to the zoo keeper who took him to a solitary cage.  A big cage all his own with no other animals to harm.  The End

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