Connor: The Forgetful Thief

The Forgetful Thief

By Connor M. Jones

I was a notorious thief.  There were multiple crime watch reports on me.  This is the story of my biggest and last crime.  I had everything I needed, but as usual I forgot something.  I had misplaced my bifocals, which I couldn't see with out.  At the time it didn't seem important, because I am always picking up stuff that seems to have value.  Afterward I always sell my loot to the highest paying fence.  This time I wandered in through the correct entrance rather than the front door, unlike that one time I got found out and FOX put on a crime watch about me.  Anyway I had found a few items of worth, a difficult to see painting with a golden frame, a bust of Athena,  a stuffed raven with an inquisitive look in its eyes, and to top it all of a diamond sculpture of Edgar Allen Poe.  I thought to myself "All I have to do now is escape and sell these items to the fence.  Although I better dash before the cops arrive or anyone wakes up."  I tend to think aloud sometimes, and unfortunately this was one.  The exact same time I started to leave a murder had taken place.  I was barely out of the building and knew cops would show up eventually, or a vigilante dressed in a ridiculous get up.  They would blame me saying that I had killed the owner of the house to keep my theft secret.  I would have none of those scandalous rumors about me killing people.  Anyway on the way out I met the owner's twenty-year-old daughter, and she wanted her father's business.  Seeing as she didn't want a witness who could claim to so much as hear the old man's screams, she chased me back into the parlor and killed me.  I was but a hapless victim of another murderer.  The only thing that would stop her was a tiny piece of evidence in my hand, a book of short-stories by Edgar Allen Poe.  Thinking like the character in The Telltale Heart she hid the corpse of her old man under the floorboards.  In short I never got my payment and thus my entire afterlife is being spent trying to recover the items I had taken.  The End