Connor: Weekly Blog #1

Time Traveler Monthly

The Only Time Traveling Newspaper

June 11 2030

        This just in: His highness, the king of the world, Franki II, has declared a tax of five chew toys on sunlight, air, and gasoline.  He also outlawed the existence of cats and all washing machines and dryers are banned.  Kyle Jones of the Texas Lawyers Association had this to say "Now I can't even drive my flying car to work.  Nor can I walk outside the house or office because I don't have any chew toys!"  Unfortunately if one cannot pay the tax Franki II is likely to have them thrown into jail.  Under the rule of King Franki beagles are ruling over Britain, pugs own France, and Mexico is run by a Chihuahua who is both a general and a duke.  

Last weekend scientists brought dinosaurs back to the earth.  Unfortunately the dinosaurs were killed before they made it to the zoo.  These poor dinosaurs were all herbivores and were killed by a mob of people who watched Jurassic Park one too many times.  Several other once extinct animals were transported to the zoo just yesterday.  These consisted of one dodo, two short-faced bears, one dire wolf, and a saber-toothed cat.  Each species was being driven in its own truck to avoid one animal attempting to kill and eat another.  A trained vet has installed the necessary voice chip in each animal's vocal cords and a special chip in the animal's brains so they can observe what has changed.  The dire wolf, given the name lupus, has stated that "This is so weird.  I never thought humans would be so intellectual."  Lupus has been appointed as adviser to the king.  He contacts Franki II using a hologram.

Franki II has announced that many historical heroes are going to visit our time.  George Washington's dog will be here on the holiday known as Moonday.  Shakespeare's dogs will be visiting on Tuesday with William's plays in paw.  There will be a festival all week and a challenge to call each dog by his or her name.  Rover Lincoln will be delivering the Gettysburg Doghouse Address.  There will be an important statement from the Gigantic Official Office for Dog's  Delicious Over-sized Goods on what not to give our fluffy allies.