The Crazy Night
By Connor M. Jones
It was a dark night, as per usual. Ferris was in the cage and all the humans were asleep. Franki walked over and said "Rex and I are about to play poker. Would you like to join us?" He opened the cage before Ferris could reply. Rex had already sat down on a chair and Dookie and Pikachu had gotten the cards. Franki grabbed some dog biscuits and said "After the game you get to eat the biscuits you win." Ferris grinned at the idea of eating as many biscuits as she could win.
Rex put on his top hat and monocle. Then Rex pulled out a piece of bacon rolled up into the shape of a cigar. Putting the bacon cigar in his mouth he said "Humans often paint dogs with cigars while playing poker. On the contrary it's just bacon rolled up to look like cigars." Franki took one of the bacon "cigars" off the table and stuck it in his mouth. Then he put on a stovepipe hat and a fake beard. Ferris, seeing this stupid outfit, laughed out loud.
Franki said "Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation..." Ferris interrupted with a yawn and then he stopped completely. Meanwhile the crabs started arguing over who should deal the cards. Franki said "How about both of you deal." Turning toward Ferris he added "Their better dealers than the cacti was. I remember trying to get one of my cards." Suddenly Rex farted and the room broke out in laughter. Franki then said "Fourscore and seven farts ago, Rex brought forth in this kitchen a new fart." This caused more laughter from Koopa and Yoshi than anyone else. Franki looked at the others and said "Tough crowd."
The crabs dealt the first card to Rex. Then Ferris, and Franki continuing in that order till all three dogs had a hand. Ferris looked at her hand and said "I don't think we're playing with a full deck." The other dogs confirmed this by looking at the tiny pile of cards next to the dealers. The crabs told everyone that they could only find a third of the deck. This caused the entire group, but the dogs and crabs to laugh. Rex looked at the crabs and growled in a low tone. Ferris turned and said "Cool it Rex." as she put on some sunglasses and some lipstick.
Pedro, Koopa, Shelly, and Yoshi all said "Go find the other two thirds of the deck you idiots." Then in slithered Munch creeping out the rats as he slithered by. Munch was carrying two thirds of a deck. Pedro, from the safety of his home, said "where the heck did you find that? Crazy snake's always the first to know where something is if it has gone missing." Munch looked at him and hissed in a threatening manner. Then Munch launched the two thirds of the deck up to the table and slithered away. Shelly was left calming Koopa and Yoshi as Pedro buried his head and body in the ground.
The crabs reshuffled and then re-dealt the cards. Ferris now holding her new hand and having an umbrella behind her was quite happy. Franki played the 3 of Boxers. Ferris played the 5 of poodles. Finally Rex played the queen of Great Danes. Rex got three dog biscuits for wining. Suddenly the next hand started and Ferris had a royal flush dealt to her. Franki had a straight, but bluffed and said he had a royal flush. Rex had an Ace high, but also bluffed in order to appear to have as good a hand as Franki. They all played their hands and Ferris won eight dog biscuits.
At the end of the game Ferris had twenty biscuits, Franki had thirty, and Rex had none. Franki, feeling sorry for Rex and Ferris gave them both ten of his biscuits. Ferris gave ten back to Franki, because franki now only had ten. The three dogs ate some of their dog biscuits and put the rest back. Ferris walked into the cage and Rex closed it and locked her in. Then all the animals went to sleep, except the rats who stayed up playing chess. THE END
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