Connor: Blog Of The Day (long ago)

Dear King of Saturn,
This is agent 3,400,56, sent to Earth to gather intelligence of said planet's size, lifeforms and plant population.  Sadly, your highness this agent has found this planet full of intelligent life.  They call themselves humans and live with canines and felines whom they keep as pets.  This planet is way smaller than our own and has more plant types.  I have studied this planet's history, but couldn't possibly study all of it because I landed in a specific country they call America.  We might have trouble turning Earthlings into slaves on Saturn for their species kept each other as slaves in America for four centuries.  I for one think that the Earthlings are crazy. If we take over their planet we shall confiscate all their weapons and action movies.  I also think that their language is funny. There are so many words that mean the same thing.  They all speak different languages that have not been used on any of the planets in the known galaxy.  I have learned a foreign language here called Spanish and a code called pig Latin or "igpay atinlay".  Be careful, I hear there are other codes like D-day and H-hour.