Connor: Civil War Journal: From The Desk Of Walter Wigfall

I just fought in my first battle, it was exceedingly creepy.  We thought that everything would be fine, both sides did.  I knew we'd be fighting the Johny Rebs, but I didn't think anyone would die.  After the first of our soldiers got shot I went into a panic.  I thought I'd die next so I kept shooting.  That fear of being shot and killed is what kept me alive throughout the battle.  This is what the men are calling the Battle Of Bull Run.  Everything was working out in our favor until Thomas Jackson's troops started to stand like a stone wall.  Then we were the ones on the defensive.  Those of us who survived retreated to D.C.  I saw many a man get shot in the back as we ran.  I was terrified and furious, those rebels were shooting at us and they stole my lunch, luckily it was just some lousy hardtack anyway.  I hope he bit it so hard his teeth fell out.  I felt like I had been lied to and wondered why the people who out ranked me hadn't told me anything about what war is truly like.  I think they might have just wanted people to voluntarily join the army.  I watched as my only friend in the regiment deserted without telling anyone, I was the only one who knew.  I didn't rat him out to the higher ups, but I thought about it.  I started paying more attention to the drills and stayed in the army.  Although I could have left and no-one would know the difference, I had to free the slaves and if no-one else here thinks that is important then I'll do it myself!
Signed,
Walter Wigfall
July 22, 1861